Last night I was giving Little Dude and bath and we were singing along to a song on the radio… he pulled my face in close to his and he just stared into my eyes. I almost started crying… of course this is a tender moment for ANY parent, but in the midst of feeling so fragile and vulnerable, it really got to me.
He is so amazing. 200% a gift straight from the Lord and when I look at him, I feel SO much love… probably not even a glimpse of the amazing love God has for us (his children), but it is the closest I can compare. Knowing this in my heart & mind, I KNOW God loves me. He sent Jesus to save many and he gave me & Chris our amazing little boy.
I admit, it IS confusing be wrapped around so much of God’s love AND facing melanoma. Yes, it is a fairly manageable cancer at this early stage, so you can’t even compare it to cancers that need chemo or other treatments. But it is scary and cancer is, quite frankly, evil.
But if I have to get cancer, this is “the one” that God allows & He contains in a tiny part of my body. Hallelujah for that!
Whether it is being proactive about going to the dermatologist and wearing sunscreen, or if someone grows to know the Lord, or someone simply sees their life as more precious, I hope me being so open with my experience & feelings results in a lasting impact on those around me.
Today was a fun day… Little Dude & I had over some friends we haven’t seen in a while.
We played, visited the fire-station (although no one was there), dropped by the library, had lunch and played some more. Spending time with friends, certainly helps the time go by quickly. 🙂
I spent some time getting ready for our community garage sale this Saturday – hauling stuff up from the basement & down from our upstairs spare bedroom is a lot of stairs. BUT it feels QUITE fantastic to know we’ll purge these items that we have not used in a LONG time – whether it’s through garage sale or donation. Do you think there’s something therapeutic about getting rid of stuff you don’t want/need? I sure do!
Today’s Mood: Less dismal. I’m really trying to focus on “one step at a time.” Luke 12:25 says “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Nope, it can’t. And it dilutes the quality, too.
As soon as I stopped “doing stuff” for the day, tiredness hit me like a brick wall. I’m hoping & praying for some good sleep tonight!
Today’s coping: Time with friends and a massage! Ahhhhh, it was fantastic. She skipped right over my melanoma spot (it’s still tender from the biopsy). Little Dude was SUCH a good boy and watched a Veggie Tales the entire time – having an enjoyable/relaxing massage with a 22 month-old in the same room is nothing short of a miracle. Not only did I get a great massage, but it was so nice to talk with my friend as she did the massage. Friends are truly a blessing and a major player in today’s coping.
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