It was breakfast-time. As I started the jar of organic baby food, my mind flashed back to 3ish years ago: Little Dude going through a phase of liking to hold a spoon while I fed him with another. Good idea, I thought.
I secured the “real” feeding spoon in my hand and presented an extra spoon to Little Brother. He was happy to take over the task of holding the spoon. Spoons have been one of his favorite teething devices.
Not 30 seconds later, he dropped his decoy spoon and enthusiastically and fiercely went to grab the jar of baby food with both hands.
My grasp firmed and I said “no, mommy’s going to give you all the food you need.”
Just as I said it, I thought – oh Lord, I do this.
I actually said out-loud, “what a great spiritual metaphor.”
Just like Little Brother, I want to grab the glass jar from God, dig my fingers in it, cling on to it for dear life – but most likely get a couple sampling licks out of it before I drop it… glass on tile.
God wants to take care of my needs… but I am so fiercely staking my claim and clinging onto things that could be good, but I don’t know how to use properly.
Little Brother is still learning how to eat solids, obviously. He’s also learning to trust momma with the spoon. While he feels so excited to take on a task independently, I know he needs a certain level of nourishment to survive. So I will provide that to him and tell him “no” in order to insure he’ll get what he needs to grow.
Ultimately, doyou hear God say “let go, I’ve got this?”
Do you argue back “no, it’s mine – I want to do it!”
Yep, too often.
Lord, soften my grip.
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